The New Guy
by WarriorcatZ1324
Summary: The park crew is getting a new face. But is this new member really what's best for the park? And will his dangerous past forever change the fates of everyone there? MXM; RXE. Rated T for mild swearing and violence. NEW every other Sunday! EP. 6 posted!
1. Episode 1

Regular Show: The New Guy

Episode One: The Beginning

A/N: Hey, Everyone! Thanks for checking out my latest fanfiction.

As the title states, this story is about a brand new employee that comes to work at the park, and he'll inevitably meet the Regular gang of course. The entire story has a goal of 21 chapters. Some characters may be a little OOC for the first few chapters, but I think I can adjust to writing them in character after that. So, without further ado, I give to you the first chapter!

And a further note on my OC: I know the Regular Show fanon has so many OC's that it's driving a lot of you insane. Same here, it drives me crazy looking for a decent story without some kind of OC in it. But please don't worry, because I have worked hard to make sure Carter (My OC) is NOT a Gary-Stu, as most of the Regular Show OCs are. He is only here to help with the drama among the Regular gang, as well as to provide a bit of insight into how other people see the main characters. The main focus of the story is on Mordecai and Rigby's friendship, and the 'romantic' relationship between Mordecai and Margaret, and Rigby and Eileen. There will be a slight focus on my OC to showcase his own flaws later on, and show reasoning behind his motives, as well as to provide drama and insight like I said above. Any further questions are welcome. NOW, ON WITH THE FIC!

Disclaimer: Regular Show, Mordecai, Rigby, Pops, Benson, Muscle Man, High Five Ghost, Skips, Eileen and Margaret are not mine, but are J.G Quintel's. I've always wondered if J.G reads his fan's fanfictions…

* * *

><p>The trees in the small park swished in the breeze, their shadows running across the green grass, lush and warm from the sun that beamed down upon it. A little house stood amongst the park, its faded green and white paint softly matching the surrounding color palette.<p>

A raccoon's paws softly skittered on the porch of the green house, two glasses of water in hand. A blue jay that was sitting on the front step of the house looked back to greet the raccoon, his arm outstretched for the glass of water.

The raccoon pulled the glass back to himself, just out of the blue jay's reach.

"Dude, what the H?" The blue jay exclaimed. "It's freaking hot out here! Give me that water!"

"Mordecai, one second!" The raccoon moaned. "Let me sit down at least!"

"Fine, Rigby. Hurry up!" Mordecai told his friend.

Rigby sat down next to his friend, the raccoon's feet barely reaching the ground.

Rigby sighed. "Here ya go, Mordecai." He handed the sweating glass to his avian friend.

Mordecai took a sip. "Ah. That's good. Too bad the coffee shop was closed today. I could have gone for an iced coffee."

Rigby groaned. "Yeah, right. You just want to see _Margaret_."

The blue jay punched his friend in the shoulder, almost spilling his drink.

"Shut up, dude!"

Rigby puffed up his cheeks in protest.

"Make me!"

The two comically set down their drinks before letting out a series of punches aimed at the other.

As they fought, a lithe, anthropomorphic tom cat slowly paced up to the house, stopping to look at the comical pair.

"Ahem." He cleared his throat, hoping to gain their attention.

The two still fought, the blue jay landing a square kick between his friends legs. The raccoon let out a weak, girlish sound, and continued his assault on his friend.

"Hello? Can I have your attention, please?" The cat raised his voice.

Again, the two did not hear him.

"EXCUSE ME?" He growled.

The two paused right in the middle of giving each other "nuggies" to look at the cat giving them an off put glance.

"Can I speak to the manager of this park, please?" He asked politely.

Rigby sighed and stopped his assault on his friend's noggin to point at the door.

"He's inside." His voice was high pitched, for obvious reasons.

The cat nodded. "Thank you."

The cat walked past them, the pair still frozen in their position.

_Ka-thud._ The door shut behind him.

And once again, they continued their friendly fight.

* * *

><p>The gumball machine nodded, sitting across the table from the cat, looking at the file laid out in front of them.<p>

"Hmm… I like your resume, uh," He looked back at the previous page, and cleared his throat. "Carter, is it? Is it true that you've also worked at New York's Central Park?" He said, smiling.

Carter nodded, scratching the back of his neck.

"Yeah. I love working at parks. The atmosphere is just so…" He took in a large breath of fresh air. "…Comforting."

Just as Benson was about to give Carter his contract, the front door burst open.

"Dude, I'm sorry!" Carter didn't know the voice, assuming it was the blue jay's.

He could also assume that by the sobs coming from nearby, that the raccoon was pouting.

"Yeah, tell that to my crotch and my eye!"

"Look, I'll get you some ice packs. Will that make you happy?"

Carter heard a whimper, then: "Yeah."

The house was silent, then there was an opening of a fridge, the rustling of two plastic bags, the shutting of said fridge, then the opening and quiet closing of a door somewhere upstairs.

Benson sighed and pushed the contract and a pen over to Carter.

"Morons." He muttered as he got up to leave.

As Carter signed the contract, he heard muffled noises upstairs.

He looked up from the contract.

"Who are they?" He asked Benson.

Benson looked back at Carter, obviously stressed as he answered. "Mordecai and Rigby. They're slackers, with a capital S. Honestly; I don't know why I haven't fired them yet."

* * *

><p>Benson had called an employee meeting outside on the porch steps. Mordecai walked outside, waiting briefly for his friend, who was hunched over with an ice pack in his arms, pressed up against his right eye. Mordecai sat down next to a lollipop-headed man, who let out a moan of concern as he saw Rigby. A green, chubby man let out a small chuckle as he saw the ice pack, and a ghost with a hand sticking out of his head let out a quavering chuckle and playfully shoved the green man.<p>

"Oh, whatever happened to your eye, Rigby? Are you alright?" the lollipop-headed man said in a high pitched voice.

"I'm fine Pops…" Rigby answered him, trying to carefully dodge the question of what had happened as Benson started to speak.

The gumball machine had his arm slung around the cat standing next to him.

"Everyone, this is Carter. He's a new employee here. Mordecai and Rigby, I want you to show him around. Maybe you'll learn something from him."

Mordecai snorted, and Rigby groaned, muffled by the ice pack on his face.

"Okay, now that we have settled that, let's get started with today's work. Rigby and Carter, I want you two to start picking up some of the litter around here. Mordecai, I want you to have my car's tires rotated and checked."

Mordecai moaned. "Ugh, why can't you do that?"

Benson's face turned slightly red. "Because, I have to fill out some important paperwork. Would you rather do that, Mordecai?"

Mordecai groaned and shook his head.

"Fine then. Muscle Man, High-Five Ghost, I need you to go pick up some stuff for the snack bar."

The green man shoved his fists up in the air. "Whoo! Yeah!" He high fived the ghost, and then shouted, "You know who else has to go pick out snacks for the snack bar? MY MOM!" He gave High-Five Ghost another high five and they ran/floated off towards the garage.

"And Pops," Benson casually asked the lollipop-headed man, "Where's Skips?"

Pops giggled. "Oh, he had to go out of town this morning! Said something about an auction for charity! What a noble cause, yes?"

Benson sighed. "Can you call him and ask when he'll be back?"

"Oh, yes! I'll phone him up right now!" Pops got up and pranced into the house.

Mordecai got up from the steps, lightly punching his friend in the shoulder.

"C'mon, dude. Let's get this over with." He grunted.

Rigby got up, dropping the bag with the now melted ice, and walked over to Carter.

"Hi, I'm Rigby." He extended his arm, greeting the cat.

Carter nodded and extended his hand to meet the raccoon's, and he shook his hand.

"Hi, I'm Carter."

Mordecai walked past him, and Carter turned to meet him. Mordecai leapt back, eyes showing he was intimidated by the cat's presence.

Carter sensed his fear, and chuckled. "Hi, I'm Carter." He extended his hand.

Mordecai approached him slowly, and eventually grasped Carter's hand to shake it.

"Hi. I..I'm Mordecai." He stuttered.

Carter laughed to himself. "Nice to meet you, Mordecai."

Mordecai nodded in acknowledgement and started to walk away before stopping to ask Carter a question.

"Um, heh, I was wondering… Do you eat meat?"

Carter looked offended, and then he spoke.

"No. I'm a vegan. Why?"

Mordecai shook his head in embarrassment. "N…no reason. Nice to meet you, Carter." Mordecai walked off to the garage.

An awkward silence stood between the raccoon and cat, until Rigby surprisingly took the initiative to speak.

"Dude, we need to follow him. All the equipment we need is in the garage." Rigby informed him, scampering off towards the blue jay.

"Alright." Carter nodded, walking after the raccoon.

* * *

><p>"This isn't so bad! Trust me, being a park employee at Central Park is way worse."<p>

Carter said as he stabbed a can of Slurpy Cola with his spear.

"Yeah, yeah… Whatever. I just want to get this over with…"

Rigby complained as he lazily stabbed a piece of paper, which quickly flew away in the wind. His bag was barely full at all, while Carter's was on his second.

"You're not gonna get it done that way! You gotta stab deeper into pieces like that." Carter huffed.

"Really? Then why don't YOU show ME how it's done?" Rigby challenged, shoving his spear in Carter's direction.

"I'm not falling for that one, Rigby!"

"Oh, so now you're the wise guy, eh?"

* * *

><p>Meanwhile, Mordecai was arriving at the tire store, and almost immediately, a strange looking figure popped up in front of the car, startling him.<p>

"Aah!" Mordecai screamed.

The strange figure extended its hand in a wavy fashion.

"Hello, friend, are you here for maintenance?" He…She…It said.

"I… guess so…" Mordecai stuttered, confused.

"Excellent! I will take your place, friend!" It said.

Mordecai realized in almost an instant, he was out of the car, and the… 'it'… was already working away at breakneck speed on the tires.

"Woah. I didn't know service is this fast." Mordecai scratched the back of his neck.

Suddenly, he was back in the car, and he looked out his window to see the 'it' standing next to it.

"Thanks… I guess." Mordecai thanked it. "How much was that?" He fished around in his wallet for the money his boss gave him.

"It's on the house!" It said in a creepy voice.

"Okay…" With that, the blue jay drove off.

"Heheheh, everything is going according to plan…" It said in a creepy voice.

Suddenly, the owner of the tire store walked out and noticed the creep.

"Hey! Didn't I tell you never to come here again! Shoo!" The man yelled, and instantly, 'It' was gone.

"Weirdo." He groaned, and walked back into his shop.

Mordecai ran his wing through the feathers on the top of his head as he let out a long sigh.

"Ah. Glad that's over with."

Suddenly, a dark flash of power emanated from the side of his vision.

Mordecai gasped as the dark power seemed to grow appendages and it grasped the wheel. He tried to wrestle the force off the wheel, but only got shocked instead.

"What the crap?" Mordecai scrambled back into his seat.

A familiar voice cackled in evil joy as he made the car swerve back and forth on the road.

"It's seems to be the end of the road for you, blue jay!" The genderless voice screeched.

Mordecai was whacked against the window as the car turned into the park, tire marks blackening the sidewalk.

* * *

><p>Rigby and Carter were in the middle of a mock fight with their spears.<p>

"Take this, Rigby!" Carter jabbed the staff at Rigby, the blunter end pointed at the energetic raccoon.

"No way, scaredy cat! Take that!" Rigby flailed the stick in Carter's direction.

"Oh ho! You missed!"

Carter parried Rigby's attack with skill and knocked the small coon down, the blunt end of the spear playfully pointed at Rigby's neck.

"Woah! I win!" Carter laughed as he pumped his fist in the air.

"Stop talking!" Rigby pouted, crossing his arms in frustration.

"Calm down, man!" Carter smiled. "It was just a game!"

Rigby still pouted and crossed his arms. "Fine."

Carter leaned on a nearby tree and sighed. "Make sure you pick all the trash up Rigby!"

"What!" Rigby shouted in confusion.

"Remember? It was part of the deal. I win, you finish the job, if you won, I finished the job. You lost."

"Oh come on, man! I thought you were joking!"

Carter rolled his eyes. "Fine, Rigby. I'll help."

A moment of silence… then…

"Rigby… Do you hear that?" Carter asked.

"What? No, I… I didn't call you an…" Rigby nervously muttered.

"NO! It's the sound of someone screaming…"

Rigby listened closely, and sure enough, it was someone screaming. It was hard to hear over another sound…

"Dude! I hear a car too…" The coon's ears twitched, and he soon made out the voice to be…

"Mordecai! He's the one screaming!" Rigby got on all fours and ran towards the sound of his best friend's voice.

"Woah! Wait for me, Rigby!" Carter sprinted after him, the litter bags forgotten.

Rigby stopped near the edge of the forest when the screams of his friend were loud and clear, the noise of the motor almost deafening.

"Mordecai! Where are you?" Rigby yelled out.

Carter was just barely catching up to him. "Jeez, man! Slow down…"

Almost immediately, a car leapt out of the bushes, and it was headed straight for Rigby.

* * *

><p>Mordecai screamed at the top of his lungs as the car rampaged through the park, barely missing pedestrians and messing up the well-kept lawn with its demon tires.<p>

Suddenly, the car headed for the bushes near the edge of the forest. Mordecai gasped as the car barely missed a tree and it was brought to a stop behind a set of tall bushes, completely out of sight.

As Mordecai caught his breath, a familiar raccoon appeared in front of the car.

Rigby.

The moment Rigby stepped out in the open, the car revved its engines as it sped towards the unsuspecting coon.

"No, Rigby!" Mordecai yelled as the car closed in on his best friend.

_Thump._ The car smashed into Rigby, and he was launched over the car's hood.

"RIGBY!" The blue jay shouted. "No… No!"

* * *

><p>Rigby's perception of time slowed down as he was catapulted over the car.<p>

He knew he was hurt. His side that the car hit felt as if it were on fire. But he recognized the car as soon as he saw it. It was Benson's car, the one Mordecai took on some errand he was too occupied to remember. Therefore, Mordecai was in there, fearing for his life.

As soon as that clicked in his head, he let his sharp claws run down the top of the car. It felt like his claws were getting ripped out of their sheaths, and he closed his eyes in pain. But when he opened them, he was securely on top of the car. Alive.

"Ye-eah!" He managed to pump his aching fist in the air.

He looked down into the driver's side window to try and brag to Mordecai, but his friend looked like he was sobbing. Rigby pushed his ear to the side of the window and tried to listen.

"Rigby… Why… ? This is all my fault…" He heard Mordecai cry, and Rigby felt immense guilt.

Suddenly, he saw a dark mist wrapped around the car's steering wheel. He followed the strange mist until his eyes were locked on the demon tires, the evil mist surrounding them.

"Woah… That ain't good…" He said in apprehension. "If only I could…" He gasped, the adrenalin rushing though his veins almost instantly producing an idea.

He looked around to gather his bearings. He saw Carter in hot pursuit of the car, the spear grasped firmly in his paws.

"Carter! Hey!" Rigby waved his hand in the air towards the anthro tom.

He looked up at Rigby in shock, his eyes widening. "Rigby? How did you get up there?"

Rigby shook his head in haste. "Never mind that! Throw me the spear!"

Carter looked at him like he was crazy. "What? No way, I couldn't!"

"Do it!" The coon yelled.

Carter squinted his eyes in concentration, and Rigby saw the spear leave his hands, flying in an almost perfect arch towards the roof of the car. Once again, time slowed down for Rigby.

The spear flew towards the roof, and Rigby had to duck, the sharp end only inches from almost splitting his back open. With a metallic _Shthunk_, the spear lodged itself into the car roof.

* * *

><p>Mordecai stopped crying as soon as he heard a large noise from the top of the car. He looked up and saw one of the spears used for picking up litter lodged in the roof. He gasped as it was removed, revealing the raccoon he was grieving for in the view of small hole.<p>

"Rigby!" He smiled as his best friend looked back at him.

"Mordecai!" Rigby smiled back. "I can totally fix this! I promise!"

Mordecai grinned at the familiar words. "Then get me out of here!"

Rigby nodded, and moved out of sight.

Suddenly, Mordecai noticed the spear dangling over the edge of the car, and he felt the car shake as the spear stuck into the tire, the car swerving out of control.

Soon, the others were taken out as well, and as the car rolled bumpily to a stop, he heard the evil force scream out in pain as the mist faded from the tires and the wheel. Mordecai opened the door, and tried to step out, but he almost immediately collapsed in shock.

"Ugh…" The blue jay moaned. As his vision faded, two little feet landed on the ground next to him.

* * *

><p>"Oh crap! Mordecai!" Rigby shook the bird in panic.<p>

Carter caught up to them, his breath coming out in heaves.

"Don't worry, man. I think he's fine. The car though…"

The duo looked over at the car in exhaustion. The car itself wasn't scratched up too bad, but the tires were melted over the rims, ripped to shreds.

"Dude… We're screwed. Benson's gonna be pissed!" Rigby gasped.

"I'll take care of the car." Carter offered. "You take Mordecai inside; he's not doing too well. Stall Benson for me, I won't take long."

Rigby gave him a worried look, and then he sighed. "Fine. Good luck." He picked up his friend and started for the house.

Carter looked at the car with a stressed out look, and shook his head while he dialed a nearby towing service.

* * *

><p>Rigby shut the door behind him; Mordecai already slumped over the couch.<p>

The coon sat next to his friend, giving him a nervous glance. He soon heard the familiar rattle of gumballs as his employer walked into the living room.

Benson strode in, his clipboard in hand. "Hey, Rigby, did you get all that…" He glanced at the couch, and immediately he gave Rigby a worried look. "What happened to Mordecai?"

"Oh, uh… during me and Carter's job, he stopped by and said he wasn't feeling well, so, uh, once Carter and I finished up, Carter took the car to the, uh, shop! Yeah…" Rigby lied, nervously patting his hands together as he looked at the floor.

Benson gave him a hard stare. "…Really?"

Rigby quickly nodded in response. "Yeah. Really."

An awkward silence hung in the air, then… "Okay then." Benson returned to his office, the door slamming shut behind him.

Rigby let out a breath he had no idea he was holding as he laid down on the couch next to his friend. He watched as Mordecai flinched slightly, before opening his eyes.

"Dude! Are you alright?" Rigby started shaking his friend, panic in his eyes.

Mordecai groaned, and turned his head to look at Rigby. Before he knew it, Rigby was encased in a hug, the feeling of soft feathers surrounding him.

"I'm so glad you're okay." Mordecai sighed. "When you got hit by that car I thought you'd…"

"Yeah, yeah, I know… Enough with the gushy stuff, man, I'm still in pain from the whole thing. Ow…" Rigby said, his speech muffled by Mordecai's feathers.

Mordecai laughed, and let go of Rigby. "Sorry, dude. Didn't know I was smothering ya."

"It's okay, dude." Rigby smiled.

They smiled at each other for a while, before Rigby piped up.

"You wanna play Strong Johns?"

"Anytime, dude."

* * *

><p>Carter drove down the park's main road, the new tires gliding over the road smoothly. He rolled a smooth stone in his hands, a soft, warm heat emanating from it from its last use. He smirked as he thrust it into his pocket, glad he had found such a rare item.<p>

He rolled into the house's garage, and put the car into park as he turned the key to take it out, sliding it into his pocket next to the stone.

As he opened the door as quietly as he could, he heard snoring coming from the living room, and he walked over to inspect the noise.

The two best friend laid on the couch, the TV's soft glow shining on their faces.

Rigby was on his side, his head resting against Mordecai's side, while the blue jay had his feet resting on the table, his head thrown back and his mouth agape, the controller still in his hands.

Carter turned around as he heard a door close, and saw Benson with a small coat hanging over his metal frame, and he assumed he was heading somewhere.

"Hey, Carter. 'Bout time you got here. You can sleep in Mordecai's bed, seeing as he's sleeping on the couch tonight. I'll be off to my apartment." He knocked Mordecai's feet off the table, muttering something about "rules."

"Thanks. Sorry about getting here so late, I had to pick up something. I've paid for the gas I used." Carter whispered, grasping the keys from his pocket and handing then to the gumball machine.

"Thanks. See you in the morning, then." Benson nodded.

"Alright. I'll see ya. Night." Carter whispered. He started to head to bed, before he realized something.

"Benson." He started. "Where's the room?"

His boss chuckled. "It's upstairs, the first door on the right."

"Thanks." Carter headed upstairs.

The machine hopped in his car, and reached for the keys in his jacket's pocket. They were strangely warm, considering he had very little body heat of his own, being metal, and they had not been in his pockets or Carter's pockets, he assumed, for very long.

"Huh, that's strange." He mused. But he thought nothing more of it as he drove off, anticipating the soft bed back at his apartment.

* * *

><p>AN: Thanks for reading! Please R&R, and check back often for new chapters. Any feedback is appreciated, and expect a new chapter every other Sunday.

Adio…

-WarriorcatZ1324


	2. Episode 2

Regular Show: The New Guy

Episode Two: Coffee Time Pt. 1

A/N: Hello again! Thanks to bg52598, Alex Griffin will appear in some later chapters! Thank you, bg52598, for being the first to review The New Guy, and I can't wait to have Alex in my fic! Speaking of the fic… ON WITH IT!

Disclaimer: Regular Show, Mordecai, Rigby, Pops, Benson, Muscle Man, High Five Ghost, Skips, Eileen and Margaret are not mine, but are J.G Quintel's. I've always wondered if J.G reads his fan's fanfictions… O.o

* * *

><p>The early morning sun rose over the quaint city, the park's soft green colors washed over with light yellow, the birds chirping, welcoming a new day.<p>

Inside the house lay a blue jay and his raccoon companion, the light shining though the wide window of the living room, burning the bird's eyes with its heat.

"Ugh… Wha?" Mordecai opened his eyes, and flinched from the sun's rays. He wiped a smidge of saliva off his beak, and rubbed his eyes of the sticky, crusty stuff covering his eyelids.

He slowly took notice of the raccoon lying against his side and slightly grimaced as he gently pushed the creature away.

Rigby let out a soft groan, his muscles aching from yesterday's car mishap.

Mordecai got up and stretched, his joints popping as his wings flexed outwards.

As Mordecai stood idle, his ears picked up a sound coming from upstairs.

He left the raccoon on the couch, Rigby snuggling a cushion in a big hug.

Mordecai's talons softly clicked on their way up the stairs, and he stopped at the bathroom, pressing his head to the door.

A loud singing was coming from inside, muffled by the sound of running water and the thickness of the door.

"I know you want me, you know I wantcha, you know you want me-ee, you know I wantcha…"

Mordecai let out a soft laugh as he realized Carter was singing. By the sound of it, he was also imitating some sort of dancing as well.

The source of the sound and a good blackmail device discovered, Mordecai walked downstairs to wake up his friend and start breakfast.

* * *

><p>"Urgh, Mornin' guys." Carter walked downstairs, wearing a dark red tee and black skinny jeans.<p>

"Morning, Pitbull!" Rigby joked, barely containing his laughter. Mordecai grinned at his best friend's joke.

Carter's eyes dilated, his face burning with embarrassment. "You heard me?"

Mordecai gave him a look. "These walls aren't exactly soundproof, you know."

Carter's face noticeably flushed though his fur even more. But before he could say anything else, the front door's handle turned and the gumball machine that was their boss walked in.

"Good morning." Benson murmured. It was more of a pre recorded message than a heartfelt greeting, but it was a greeting nonetheless, and the three of them nodded in acknowledgement.

Carter turned to Benson. "Hey, boss. I was wondering when Skips will be back."

The machine looked at him, Carter's sentence barely registering.

"He'll be back sometime today, around noon." He replied, and worked his way to the door to his office before slowly slamming it behind him.

"You know Skips?" Mordecai asked the tom, slightly surprised he even knew the yeti's name.

"Yeah, he's the one that recommended me to the park. I'll be helping him out as a side job to helping you guys." Carter nodded, grabbing a can of Nebula Energy drink he had put there the day before.

"Wow, you're lucky. What does he have you do?" Rigby asked, putting both hands on the table in excitement.

"That's for me to know, and for you to hopefully not find out." Carter smirked, popping the can open, and almost immediately he started to chug it down.

"Ugh, you drink that stuff?" Mordecai grimaced, staring at the can with revulsion.

"Yeah," Carter started to speak after chugging half the can. "I use it to keep myself away from…"

"Good morning, Mordecai, Rigby, Carter! What a wonderful day it is!" Pops skipped down the stairs and towards the kitchen, a grin stretched wide across his large face.

"G'morning, Pops." Mordecai greeted, grabbing himself a mug to pour coffee in.

"Wait. You drink that…" Carter started, pointing at the mug with shock.

Mordecai gave him an almost blank stare.

Carter understood immediately. "Touché."

"Touché? Whatever does touché mean?" Pops giggled.

"Ugh, Pops, it means like… Same here or something like that." Rigby replied, his hand gesturing in the air pointlessly.

"Oh! I would've never thought that! You learn something every day, papa says!" He skipped across the living room and out the front door, apparently to wonder at the great sunset.

"His dad is still around?" Carter looked at the door in surprise.

"Yeah, he's a grumpy old man who runs the park." Mordecai answered, about to take a sip of his piping hot coffee.

Rigby looked at the mug longingly. "Hey, man, can you get me one?"

"Why can't you get it yourself?" Mordecai shot back.

Rigby grumbled. "I have to do everything around here."

Benson came thundering out of his office, and laid a list of chores on the table with a loud _thump_.

"I want these jobs done today! Carter, try and keep them in line!"

The gumball machine was gone before you could speak a word, and the three looked at the seemingly mile long sheet of paper before them.

"Dang." Rigby groaned. "He made our list before I got my coffee. That's a new record."

Carter stood up, the can flying towards the trash, and landing perfectly inside it. "We'd better start now. I don't want to see him angry, and besides, if you guys want my help before Skips gets here, then right now is the best time."

Mordecai and Rigby exchanged worried looks, and then nodded at Carter.

The chores seemingly flew by with a third member. Before they knew it, the chores were almost done when a familiar face popped through the front door.

"Skips! How's it going bro?" Carter got up from dusting the photos around the house and high fived the muscular yeti.

"Fine. How are you?" Skips cracked a grin.

"I'm good. How's the eternal life going?"

Skips laughed a little and pointed at the blue jay and raccoon.

"These guys keep it a bit interesting."

The two gave Skips a dirty look. "Hey!"

"I'm just joking. How's the artifact collecting going?" Skips asked Carter.

"I've stopped for now. I want to make an honest living."

Mordecai and Rigby both did a double take at Carter's reply.

"You're not…" The yeti's face fell, looking as if he was going to scold the young cat.

Carter's face grew serious. "No. I've stopped that for good." He looked a little nervous before his face lightened and the two resumed their friendly conversation.

A while later, Rigby lazily wiped off the final piece of dust on the windowsill and threw it down in triumph. "Yea-uh! We're done!"

Skips stopped mid-conversation and gave Mordecai and Rigby an incredulous look.

"Really? You two actually finished early?"

"Yeah, thanks to Carter!" Rigby began to pump his fists in the air, with a cocky grin on his face.

Mordecai grinned at Rigby's enthusiasm. "We should go to the coffee shop for some celebration!"

Rigby shook his head in mock shame. "What he means is 'for some lady pecs'!"

Mordecai delivered a swift punch to Rigby's arm, and the 'coon let out a whimper of pain.

"Naw, guys, I'm good. I don't drink coffee."

Silence filled the room.

"What?" Mordecai and Rigby said in unison.

"I told you that already this morning." Carter shrugged.

"Dude. You are coming with us!" Rigby demanded.

"Aw, what? C'mon guys! I've got to prepare for whatever Skips wants me to do!" He nudged the unmovable yeti. "Right, Skips?"

"I think you should go with them. It's good to get to know your co-workers better." Skips crossed his arms, slowly nodding his head in agreement.

Carter sighed. "Fine. Although I'm not promising to drink coffee."

"Yes! Follow me!" Rigby got on all fours and ran outside.

"You're not driving, Rigby! Remember last time you tried?" Mordecai groaned, following Rigby to the door.

"Remember the last time YOU drove, Mordecai?" Rigby shot back.

Mordecai shuddered at the bad memory. "Not cool, dude."

"Guys, I'll drive!" Carter offered, joining the duo at the door.

They walked out the door, leaving Skips alone in the entryway.

"Sure, Carter. Lie to an eternal yeti." Skips mumbled to himself.

* * *

><p>"Here's the place!" Rigby motioned to the building in front of them. Carter looked up at the medium-sized coffee cup sign gracing the top of the doorway, the neon tubes visible though the white glass. A small staircase led down to the door, the slightly rusting metal guiderail barely hanging by its own screws.<p>

"It's…nice, I guess?" He shrugged.

"C'mon, the inside is even better!" Rigby ran to the door.

Both Mordecai and Carter rolled their eyes at his enthusiasm.

The door was swung open, a little bell attached to the door ringing annoyingly. The inside was a little bit nicer than the outside for sure. The tables were a tad dirty, but Carter assumed that some people must have just left.

"Hey, Mordecai, Rigby! Who's the new guy?" A sweet voice called over from the counter at the further end of the shop.

Carter gaped slightly at the sight before him. A red robin in a form-fitting outfit waived at the trio, a wide grin on her beak.

"Hey, Margaret! This is Carter. He's new at the park." Mordecai introduced, noticing with a little bit of embarrassment that Carter was staring directly at her. He waved his wing in his face, and the tom shook his head in realization, slightly blushing.

"Hi! I'm Margaret! How are you, Carter?" She asked.

"I'm good, I guess. I'm kind of new to their 'usual' stuff." Carter answered.

She laughed. "You'll get used to them. They're pretty nice, considering."

Mordecai and Rigby shook their heads in shock. "What!"

Margaret laughed yet again. "I'm just joking with you guys. Have a seat. I'll have your usual orders out in a sec!" She winked, and got to work.

The trio sat down, and Mordecai and Rigby were instantly consumed by the TV in front of them, a new show about guys who pick up girls in their big motorcycles currently in progress. Carter was feeling around in his pocket, and cursed through his teeth when he found that his stone was almost burning. He pulled his paw out, softly sucking on it.

A little brown mole shuffled out from behind the counter, her glasses fogging up from the coffee she held on a tray in front of her face.

"Hey, Rigby, Mordecai." She said in a meek voice, her cheeks glowing red as she mentioned the raccoon's name. "Here's your coffee." She handed them the steaming mugs, the two's eyes looking away from the TV to ogle over the mugs of hot coffee instead. "Who are you? I haven't seen you around before." The mole asked as she handed Carter a mug.

"I'm Carter. And you are?" He asked, not noticing the mug.

"I'm Eileen, I work with Margaret." She smiled, her eyes drifting over to Rigby in-between words.

"Nice to meet, you, Eileen." He waived at her as she walked away.

His eyes gravitated towards Mordecai and Rigby before stopping at the mug in front of him.

The dark substance was tempting, as he hadn't had a cup in a long time. Ever since…

The tom didn't stop to think any more than that before he downed he mug in one gulp.

_So… good…_ He thought, his eyes fluttering inside his eyelids.

"Margaret?" He called, waving her over.

She came over to him, and smiled as she noticed his coffee was all gone.

"You want a second cup?" She guessed.

Mordecai and Rigby stopped sipping their coffee in slight shock as Carter ordered one more mug of coffee.

As Margaret left, Mordecai whispered to Carter, "I thought you didn't drink coffee."

"What?" Carter replied. "I never said that."

Rigby laughed as he prodded his friend and motioned him over to whisper in his ear. "Dude. It's not the coffee. It's the lady pecs!"

Mordecai looked over at the cat to see him looking at Margaret with glazed over eyes as she made him some coffee.

"Shut up." Mordecai punched his friend, a worried look gracing his face more and more as he realized his new co-worker might actually have the hots for Margaret.

And by the looks of it, unlike him, he might have the guts to do something about it.

* * *

><p>AN: Is Carter going to start hitting on Margaret? Will Mordecai let him? Why has Carter started drinking coffee not long after displaying disgust for it? Will Margaret be oblivious to all of this? Will Rigby continue being a jerk and ignoring Eileen? How does Skips know Carter? How does Carter know Skips? Am I ever going to stop asking questions that I will ultimately not give you the answers to in this chapter? Well, I can answer that last one: Yes.

Stay tuned for the next part of 'Coffee Time' on New Year's Eve 2011!

Oh, and P.S., see that button down there? Yeah, the one that says 'Review'? CLICK IT, AND SHOOT THIS EPICTASTIC AUTHOR AN AWESOME REVIEW OF THIS STORY! Please and thank you!

Thanks for reading!

Adio…

-WarriorcatZ1324


	3. Episode 3

Regular Show: The New Guy

Episode Three: Coffee Time Pt. 2

A/N: Hey guys. Is it weird when you listen to both somber and upbeat music to help you write? I don't know… Probably my fickle muse… :P

Disclaimer: Regular Show, Mordecai, Rigby, Pops, Benson, Muscle Man, High Five Ghost, Skips, Eileen and Margaret are not mine, but are J.G Quintel's.

* * *

><p>Another morning. A new day.<p>

Mordecai stretches his wings and yawns, sheets meeting the cold, wooden floor of his room. Sunlight shone through the one window, casting its bright luminance over a pile of clothes in the room, slowly finding its way to a pair of eyes that closed harder in resistance as light slowly pulled the raccoons eye's open.

A familiar voice only weakened him as it called out his name. "Rigby… Morning." The voice wasn't particularly happy to cry out his name. But it was better than another voice he knew too well.

Rigby catapulted himself from his trampoline as he groaned with protest.

"Good morning, Mordecai." Rigby greeted his best friend with a tad more enthusiasm than he had. He shook out his fur, letting out a sigh of relief.

The coon started for the door, before Mordecai stopped him.

"Dude. I call the shower first." The blue jay moaned.

"Fine. I was going downstairs anyways." Rigby grumbled back.

Rigby ran into the kitchen and started the coffee maker, dumping the cheap coffee grind from the local supermarket inside a filter.

Closing the top, he poured the right amount of water inside the reservoir, and turned the appliance on.

As the machine choked and sputtered while it made the delicious brown liquid, Rigby sat down and waited for someone to arrive. It was only a few minutes before Mordecai came downstairs, but to Rigby it felt like eternity.

"You take forever, dude!" Rigby threw his hands in the air with annoyance. "The coffee is ready."

Mordecai ignored Rigby's childish demeanor. "Shower's open, dude. Have you seen Carter yet?"

Rigby shook his head as he jumped off his seat.

"No, man. He hasn't been showing up for breakfast for the past few days."

Mordecai scratched his forehead. "Hmm… Wonder where he is…"

"Whatever, man. Be back in a sec." Rigby yelled over his shoulder as he scrambled up the stairs. He opened the door to the bathroom and shut it behind him, not wasting a second as he pulled back the curtain and leaped inside.

He started the water, slowly turning up the heat in case it was too hot or too cool.

He grasped the store-brand men's shampoo and applied it to his brown fur, lathering it all over himself. The scent was pleasing to Rigby, and he rinsed the substance off, applying the conditioner next. The bottle was almost empty, and he spurted the last of it into his paw.

After the refreshing shower, Rigby grabbed the light blue towel on the rack and dried himself off quickly. He was afraid to use the blow dryer ever since he and Mordecai had watched a scary movie about a blow dryer that burned its victims to death.

He hated that movie.

The coon opened the door with renewed vigor and almost leaped down the staircase.

"Hey, Mordecai! What's on the agenda for today?" He asked with slight hesitation.

"Nothing, man," Mordecai said as he stared at the TV, watching the news. "I think Benson's giving us the day off or something. He still hasn't come out of his room. He got here when you started your shower. He seemed pissed or something, but you know, he usually is, so I didn't bother him."

"Cool! It's Saturday, right?" Rigby asked with excitement.

"Yeah, dude, of course." Mordecai answered, sipping some coffee.

"Then let's watch some Saturday cartoons or something!" Rigby bounced on the couch.

"Aw, what? Naw, man. Those are for kids. Like you." The blue jay chuckled.

"SHUT UP! They are not!" Rigby reached for the remote, groaning in effort.

"No! We are not watching cartoons. Besides, listen to this." Mordecai put his wing over the coon's mouth, instantly shutting him up as a gruesome image appeared on-screen.

"This just in. Last night, a man was found in his home dead, and had been seemingly burnt and shriveled to a crisp." A pretty female reporter announced grimly. "The house was surprisingly not burned down, and the investigators solving this case were not available for comment. This is the most recent in three similar cases recently occurring around the area, and the last two people burned have been found to know each other though an organization that collects rare items. And again, when the investigators were asked about this coincidence, they were not available for comment."

The TV was shut off, Mordecai holding a shivering Rigby in his hands.

"Calm down, dude. Look, it's not going to happen to us, okay?" Mordecai sighed.

"You know things like that have happened to us before…" Rigby whispered as Mordecai dropped him unceremoniously onto the couch.

"Whatever man. It's not like we…" Mordecai started, but before he could finish, Carter walked through the door.

"Hello, compadres! What's going on?" He asked, his face wide with a toothy grin.

"Nothing much, man. Just saw a dude burnt to a crisp on the news." Mordecai slightly chuckled as Rigby covered his ears.

"Stop talking!" Rigby yelled.

"Cool, bro." Carter responded.

The two looked at him in shock.

"Dude. We just told you a guy died, and you said that?" Rigby was surprisingly the one to speak up.

Carter looked back at them in with the same shocked look. "Sorry, guys! I wasn't paying attention." He quickly changed his demeanor. "Anyways, you want to go to the coffee shop?"

Now it was Mordecai's turn to speak. "Sure. But don't you want to see if Benson's got anything for us before we go?"

Carter shook his head. "I asked him if we could have a day off."

Rigby smiled childishly. "Really, dude? You're awesome!"

"Uh huh. Now come on, I told Margaret you'd be there."

"What?"

The scenery of the city flew by as Carter drove the golf cart to the coffee shop.

"Yeah, dudes, after I woke up at Skips' place this morning, I phoned Benson to let all of us take a day off, or as I called it, an 'employee get together'. He agreed, and I decided I would go pick up some coffee and some breakfast. Did you know that the coffee shop opens pretty early? Anyways, Margaret and I talked for a while. She's really smart, you know. And cute too!" Carter's mouth ran like a motor after that, and Rigby chuckled as Carter mentioned Margaret.

"Dude, I think he really is hitting on her! You gotta be fast and hope Carter won't try to eat you!"

Mordecai's face turned red from embarrassment, and raised his fist. "Shut up! Do I have to punch you?"

Rigby cowered from the blue jays fist. "No."

"We're here!" Carter pulled into a parking spot along the sidewalk.

The door was opened, and the bell rang to announce the customers.

"Hey, Margaret! I brought Mordecai and Rigby!"

The robin smiled as she saw the blue jay and his friend. "Hey! Carter told me you guys had a day off! You should hang here today!"

Mordecai's wing rubbed the back of his neck. "Heh, yeah. That'd be cool, right Rigby?"

"Sure, I guess." Rigby nodded with a slightly neutral expression.

"Hey, Rigby!" A small voice called out. Rigby clung to his bro and looked up into his eyes.

"Dude, get me out of this living H." Rigby whimpered.

"Dude! Be nice to her. She's a nice girl. Plus, she's the only girl to hit on you." Mordecai cracked a smile.

Rigby was silent, and then he did the last thing Mordecai expected to hear out of his best friend. "Okay…" He looked over at Eileen. "Hey, Eileen. How's it going?"

She blushed noticeably. "It's going… good… It's going good."

Carter walked over to a booth and invited the duo to sit.

Eileen walked over to the group and took their orders.

As she left, Carter leaned over to whisper to Mordecai and Rigby.

"Guys. I'm going to ask Margaret out."

Mordecai stood up straight. "What?" He turned red as he saw Margaret staring at him, and he sat down. "Dude. I want to ask her out."

Carter looked at him with intense hatred for a split second, and then:

"Go for it, man."

Carter threw a fist at Mordecai, which hit only the air, which the blue jay had dodged just in time.

"What the heck dude?" Rigby shouted, and to his surprise, got a well aimed blow to the face.

He was thrown back against the wall, and Carter looked back at Mordecai with a deadly stare. The bird just gulped.

Carter jumped out of his seat and launched some kicks at the blue jay, one of them landing straight in his chest.

"Ooh!" Mordecai gasped in pain, but knew better than to just sit there. He stood in a defensive stance, ready for anything.

"What makes you think you can ask her out? I'm obviously the better choice!" Carter screamed as he started a relentless attack.

"Because I've had a crush on her longer than you!" Mordecai shouted as he got up to run past Carter.

As Carter saw Mordecai start to run, he lifted his arm up to block his way, and Mordecai, not seeing this coming, got hit right below his beak. The impact caused him to slide out under the outstretched arm onto the floor, bumping his head on the seat.

Margaret ran out to see Mordecai spread out on the floor, about to be attacked by Carter.

"Carter, what are you doing?" She panicked, running over.

"No! Stay back!" Mordecai shook his hands in warning. He suddenly felt a great amount of pressure on his back as Carter kicked him away from the booth, sending him flying into a set of chairs.

"Mordecai!" Margaret screamed. She looked at Carter with disgust. "What the crap is wrong with you?"

All of a sudden, Carter's eyes blinked and he crouched over in pain, hands grasping his head.

"Mordecai… Rigby… Call Skips… Please!" He managed to yell out before his previous evil glare returned, and back with a vengeance.

"My pretty… You'll be mine… Today!" He looked at Margaret with a sensual gaze.

She screamed and ran behind the counter. As he walked towards her, Mordecai got up, and while Carter wasn't looking, he grabbed a chair and smashed it over the cat's back.

Carter turned to look at the attacker slowly, and painfully backhanded him. Again, Mordecai was thrown across the room.

His vision was blurry, but Carter's previous words were not.

"Call Skips… Rigby!" Mordecai called to his best friend, who was groaning in pain over at the booth.

"Okay, man… Give me a sec…" He replied.

"No! Call him now!" Mordecai yelled back as he launched himself at Carter yet again.

"Fine…" The coon groaned. He fumbled for the way out of the booth, and fell out of the seat. Shaking his head to gain concentration, he stumbled out of the shop.

He headed for the cart, where the walkie talkie that they used to keep in touch with the other employees was kept. Rigby searched the vehicle top and bottom, but to no avail. As he opened the glove compartment, he found the device he was looking for.

"Gotcha!" Rigby pressed the button on the side of the device. "Hello? Hello? Skips! We've got trouble!"

Rigby waited a few seconds before the gruff voice of the yeti was heard from the other end.

"What is it now, Rigby?"

"Carter is going nuts! One minute he's going gaga over Margaret, the next he's punching me and Mordecai in the face!"

"Oh, Crap. He didn't listen to my warning." Skips sighed.

"What warning?" Rigby shouted as he saw Mordecai pinned to the window by Carter, a pained look on his face.

"Never mind that! Distract him! I'll be there soon." Rigby heard the walkie talkie drop to the ground and the hurried skips of the yeti on the other end.

_Great, _Thought Rigby. _Now he has to skip all the way here._

The coon ran back into the shop, and was greeted by the cat, who was holding a picture in one hand, and Mordecai in another. Cater held up the mysterious photograph to Rigby's face.

"Look at this, Rigby. Tell me what you see." Carter grinned.

Rigby stared at the photograph in confusion. "Nothing really, just a stupid painting of… three… creatures…" Now his eyes looked something like Carter's as the cat's evil laughter rang out through the coffee shop.

* * *

><p>Skips barged into the coffee shop, a weird gun-like object in hand, and he saw a fearsome sight.<p>

Mordecai had been tied to a chair, his beak wide open in shock and had a few injuries as Carter was all over Margaret in a nearby booth, trying to poke something out of her, his clothes stained with some blood, presumably from Mordecai. Rigby was in a similar position with Eileen, only Eileen and Rigby were making out, and Skips assumed the girl must've been half against it, half interested. Skips decided to finish this before it got worse.

"Hey!" The yeti yelled as the gun was pointed at Carter. The cat hissed and leaped for Skips, leaving a disgusted Margaret behind.

The gun was fired, and a mysterious green goo was shot out, and it landed right on Carter's face as the cat almost instantly fell to the floor.

Skips shot it at Rigby, and he pulled the two violated girls and Mordecai away from the two.

"What… just… happened?" Margaret shuddered.

"Do you really want to know?" Skips put the gun in his back pocket, wiping some of the leftover green gunk on his jeans.

"Yes! I think I'd like to know why a guy I'd barely even met tried to swallow my face!" Margaret replied, a little less shaken. Eileen slightly giggled at the thought.

"He'd been effected by this." Skips… uh, well… skipped over to grab the picture that Carter had used on Rigby out of his back pocket. Before showing it to the group, he sprayed it with some more of the substance, the picture smoldering slightly at the touch.

"It's a picture of a painting, called _Tre Male Bestie._"

"Three evil beasts?" Eileen chipped in.

"You know italian?" Skips asked, surprised.

"It's a side hobby." The mole admitted, shuffling her palms together.

"Anyway, these are the three beasts from the inferno part of the Divine Comedy. The artist was a sorcerer who intentionally used special paint to imbue the painting with a special effect. Anyone who looks upon this painting almost instantly has increased desires that are based on what these beasts represent. They represent the self-indulgent, the violent, and the malicious desires we all have." Skips told them.

"Who was this artist?" Mordecai asked, rubbing the sore marks from the rope softly.

"You've never heard of him. His name was Ambrogio de Amato." Skips tucked the picture into his back pocket.

"Yeah, I guess not. How come I've never heard of him? I went to art school…" Mordecai scratched his head in confusion.

"He looked upon the painting too much. 'Nuff said." Skips looked over at Carter and Rigby, both of whom were beginning to wake up.

Rigby was the first to realize what had happened. "Oh my gosh! I can't believe I just…" He blushed so much you could see it through his fur. "Elieen… I'm sorry… I didn't know…"

Eileen ran to hug Rigby. "It's okay."

Rigby just smiled.

Carter wasn't happy in the least. "Why did I even look at that picture? Goshdarnit… I should've… done what you told me Skips. Sorry. Same to you guys, Mordecai, Margaret. I didn't mean to hurt you… or do all that to you." Carter looked down in shame.

"Dude, it's fine. You were… influenced." Mordecai gave Carter a pat on the back. Margaret sighed, and nodded in forgiveness.

"Yeah, Carter, it's alright. But you're not getting any hugs from me!" Skips laughed.

Everyone laughed at that statement. They spent the rest of the day there, healing wounds and spending time with each other.

Little did they know, a dark suited man was watching them outside the store, a smirk on his face.

"Skips, Skips, Skips. When will you learn… The more people you tell… the more you put them in grave danger…" The man vanished not seconds after, the watchful eyes of the yeti catching a small glimpse of him, narrowing in hatred.

* * *

><p>AN: Someone give me a dun-dun duunnn! Who was this strange man? What DOES Carter do for Skips? What was the strange green goo? WHY DOES EILEEN KNOW ITALIAN? Can I ever stop ending the chapters with these questions?

Well… no. :)

Tune in January 15th for the next series of chapters:

"Meeting Alex"!

Adio…

WarriorcatZ1324


	4. Episode 4

Regular Show: The New Guy

Episode Four: Meet Alex Pt. 1

A/N: This chapter will be a little bit short, but the next one will be much longer. These chapters and most others will now star bg52598's OC, Alex. This is the weirdest series of chapters I have ever written for any fanfiction. Period. XD It stars a crazy, psycho, 90-year old teacher woman. 'Nuff said, bro.

I am also working on a new fanfic! Well, actually two. :3

One is an Adventure Time Fanfic called 'Tales of Ooo and Beyond'. It's a series of oneshots based off the Mushroom War, Finnceline awesomeness, and just epic adventuring.

Another is based off the sadly not-well-known anime series, Sgt. Frog. Its current working title is 'Momoka and Giroro present: Operation: Love Cluelessly!'.

Warning: A little innuendo in this chapter and the next one.

Disclaimer: Regular Show, Mordecai, Rigby, Pops, Benson, Muscle Man, High Five Ghost, Skips, Eileen and Margaret are not mine, but are J.G Quintel's.

* * *

><p>It was a regular day in the small city. People were bustling about, running errands and the like.<p>

Same goes for a school located among the tall buildings of the city that it sat in, where young adults were rushing out to enjoy the weekend.

One particular girl in this school, however, was almost more excited than her peers. She was going to hang out with some of her best friends this weekend.

This girl was Alex Griffin. Her green eyes darted back and forth as she looked through her locker, an important assignment for this weekend missing.

"Gosh darn it. Where the H is it…?" She groaned, her pale hands rummaging through the locker. "Mrs. Harper'll be pissed if I don't turn that in…"

"Hey, Alice!" A rude-sounding voice prompted her to turn around to see her nemesis, Frank. Well, at school, anyways. She had a few outside of this prison.

"What do you want, Frank? Another faceful of fist?" She hissed mockingly.

"Looks like the tomboy doesn't know her place. Looking for this?" He asked, holding up a copy of Mrs. Harper's assignment. It was her's.

"You'd better give that back, you son of a…"

She didn't get to finish her sentence before the paper floated to the floor.

In a million pieces, that is.

"That's it! I'm gonna clobber ya!" She grasped her hands tightly into a fist, just when a teacher walked by.

"Ms. Alex! That's the last straw!" The teacher squeaked in her light voice. "That's a detention for you!" She motioned for Alex to follow.

"Aw, heck." Alex hunched over, her fate sealed.

"Have fun, loseeerr!" Frank guffawed.

* * *

><p>A lone golf cart sat in the pickup lane of the school, the blue jay in the front seat, a bored look on his face, his wing tapping on the wheel.<p>

"Why are we here again, Mordecai?" Carter groaned from the passenger side of the cart, Rigby looking over his shoulder.

"We're picking up Alex. She's a co-worker of ours." Mordecai answered.

"Co-worker? How bad do you guys slack off that it's worth Benson's money to hire two other workers?"

Mordecai thought for a moment. "I guess we're pretty bad for him to do that, now that you mention it."

Carter just shook his head, letting out a long sigh.

The doors of the school opened to reveal a teen with a pale complexion and blonde hair. She was wearing a light green shirt which appeared to have a long-sleeved white shirt under it, some camo jeans, and, to top it all off, had some really nice looking black Converse shoes.

"Hey, Mord, Rigby." Alex jumped into the back seat, and slumped over, apparently in a pissy mood.

"Hey, Crazy…" Rigby started, but before he could finish, Alex had her gloved hand over his mouth.

"Don't… even… go… there…" She spat out, and removed her hand.

"Woah, Alex! What's the matter?" Mordecai asked the teen.

"Frank." She crossed her arms in anger.

"That idiot again? What did he do now?"

"He tore up my homework! And the worst part is, the teachers thought I was the bully! They didn't even give me a replacement paper." Alex growled.

"Dang, that sucks." Rigby sympathized, giving her a pat on the back.

She just growled a bit more, but her face softened.

She looked at Carter with a questioning glance. "Who's that?"

"I'm Carter." He answered. "I've started to work at the park."

"How many employees does Benny have to hire before he realizes we'll all just slack off eventually?"

Carter just shook his head and sighed once more.

* * *

><p>"Thanks, Margaret." Carter took his steaming cup from the robin's wing, taking a small sip.<p>

"No problem." She smiled at him and started to hand out everyone else's drinks.

"Should we do something about that guy for you, Alex? A guy like him is bound to be out and about during the weekend." Mordecai asked, taking a sip of his coffee.

"It's fine." Alex shook her head. "I can handle him another time."

"Okay then. So, what do you guys want to do this weekend?" Mordecai asked the group.

"I think we should rent a movie for tonight. Maybe something like a romantic comedy?" Carter suggested.

"Naw, nothing like that! We should totally rent a scary flick!" Rigby stood up and pumped his fists.

"Yeah! That's what I'm talking about, Rigby!" Alex gave him a fist bump in agreement.

"No. You'd get scared. There's no way I'm walking you to the bathroom or unplugging that hair dryer again for the next two weeks. Besides, Carter's idea of a romantic comedy sounds way more awesome." Mordecai shook his head. Carter smiled and gave an _hmm hmm _in approval.

"Why don't you rent both kinds and watch them tonight? That sounds like a fun thing to do." Margaret chipped in, catching everyone unaware with her presence.

"Yeah!" Carter agreed. "Who's going to the video store?"

"I think Rigby and I will." Mordecai offered. "Hey… Margaret, do …you and Eileen want to… come over? It was your great idea in… the first place." He blushed slightly.

Margaret thought for a moment. "Sure, what the heck. It'll be fun."

* * *

><p><p>

"This is going to be great!" Rigby placed a big bowl of popcorn on the table in the living room of the house, and hopped up on the couch.

"Yeah, it is!" Mordecai felt his heart pounding in his chest as Margaret responded to his best friend.

She was here. In his house.

_Don't react too strongly, don't react too strongly… _He repeated his own personal mantra in his head as he looked at her.

"Alright, so what movie are we watching first? Will it be… 'Love Stupidly'? Or 'Final Stop 5'?" Rigby held the two tapes in the air triumphantly.

"Dude, just put one in! Do you have to be so dramatic?" Mordecai sighed, laying back on the couch with his wings crossed over his chest.

"Fine…" Rigby relented, and he put 'Final Stop 5' in, and jumped onto the couch, squeezing a pillow in his hands as the tense music started, and the camera focused in on a big city.

"You can't run from death… you can't hide from death… death always gets his way. Final Stop 5!" The audio boomed from the small TV's speakers.

"Oh, crap." Mordecai and Rigby said at the same time. Mordecai realized this sooner than Rigby.

"Jinx!" Mordecai poked his friend.

"Aw, come on!" Rigby got punched. Punched hard.

* * *

><p>A computer screen silhouetted a frail feminine figure hunched over a keyboard. The lady cackled in delight as an image of a young adult appeared on screen.<p>

"Heheh, yes… Finally. I've got a signal. That little rascal was hiding from me."

A bony hand pressed a button, and she was greeted by an image from a TV screen that was flashing gristly, gory images.

"Oh, youth these days. So desensitized to violence." She turned away in horror.

"Speaking of youth… Now that this student is close to being in my control… I could use the power that this one has to continue my pursuit of the ultimate goal of any teacher: The perfect student!" She started to laugh, but started to cough soon after.

"Well, phooey. I need some Ricola now…"

She shuffled away, a little progress bar filling its way up ominously on the large screen.

* * *

><p>AN: DUN DUN DUUNNN! Who is this mystery woman? Is Mordecai going to make his move with Margaret? Will Rigby end up in Eileen's arms after the movie? Or will he end up in Mordecai's? What's going to happen once that bar reaches 100%?

...

Why the H does Carter have almost no lines in this chapter?

Find out January 29th, 2012! See you later, and leave a review!

It's what we authors live on, after all. ;)

Adio…

WarriorcatZ1324


	5. Episode 5

Regular Show: The New Guy

Episode Five: Meeting Alex Pt. 2

A/N: Yay! Fifth chapter time! Anyone as excited as I am?

…

I hope so! Anyways, like last time, there will be a little bit of innuendo in this episode, as well as some intense violence and a little drug reference. Yay for innuendo, violence and a drug reference! #LOL

P.S. Don't do drugs! They do whack things to your mind, bro. Serious. Not that I've ever done them. XP That's just wrong.

…

ON WITH THE FIC!

Disclaimer: Regular Show, Mordecai, Rigby, Pops, Benson, Muscle Man, High Five Ghost, Skips, Eileen and Margaret are not mine, but are J.G Quintel's.

* * *

><p>A storm was brewing in the distance, and a young teenage boy was running through an abandoned city.<p>

His feet thundered across the hard concrete, his breaths hard and shallow.

He looked over his shoulder, and he gasped at what he saw. The monster was gaining on him, the bloody skins of its victims attached with a coarse thread.

The unfortunate lad ran faster, until a lone piece of concrete from a ruined building tripped him up. The teen winced as the unforgiving ground scraped a piece of his skin off his knee, and as the monster closed in, he let out a loud shriek of terror. The audio immediately cut out from the footage being displayed onscreen as 'The End' in big bloody letters flashed red, Death laughing in the background.

"Holy crap, dude. That was one gory flick!" Alex, a teen girl, said as she turned to pat her friend's back, but he wasn't there.

She looked over to the other seat in the room to find him huddled in a blue jay's arms.

"You just had to insist on a horror flick, didn't you Alex?" The blue jay groaned as his little friend shook in fear.

"Sorry Mordecai… I should learn to handle this kind of stuff better…" The raccoon sniffled, crawling out of his friend's arms. He sat back down next to Alex, who was stifling a laugh.

"You okay, Rigby?" A robin asked him from her seat on the other side of the small room.

"Yeah, Margaret, I'm good. Let's put in that gushy flick now, I guess." Rigby replied as he got up to change the tape.

"I'll get some popcorn!" Carter offered. He got up from the couch, his tail flicking back and forth.

"I'll help!" A little mole named Eileen got up as well, and followed Carter into the kitchen.

"Okay, next up: Love Stupidly. Ooh, I'm so excited." Rigby announced , his voice ripe with sarcasm.

"Come on, Rigby. It's not that bad. I've seen it once, and the love between the two main characters is swe-et!" Margaret sighed softly.

"Yay! A chick flick. BORING!" Alex groaned, and as she sulked, a slight pain started to form in her head.

"D, what's with my head? It hurts like H…" She rubbed her forehead, grimacing in pain.

Carter walked in with two bowls of popcorn, and moved out of the way for Eileen, who placed her two bowls on the table.

"Do you need some acetaminophen or somethin', Alex?" He asked, concern showing on his face.

"What?"

"Pain reliever. You know, like medicine?"

She hesitated, and then nodded.

"Yeah. That would help. Thanks, Carter." She lay back in her seat, her hand laid over her burning forehead.

"Be right back, guys. Don't stark the flick without me!" He ran up the stairs, and Alex continued to rub her forehead, eventually pressing her face into a pillow and groaning in pain.

* * *

><p>A frail woman stepped into the dim room, the only light coming from a large screen, which currently was quite dark itself.<p>

"What's she doing now? Is that wretched film over?" The lady spoke in her raspy voice, a lozenge rattling against the teeth in her mouth.

"Crap, it's getting worse." The lady heard a voice broadcast through the speakers of the setup. The progress bar was at ninety-eight percent, and the lady cackled in delight.

"Good. I soon shall have complete control!"

A knock came from the back of the room.

"Grandma Harper! What are you doing in there?"

She groaned in annoyance. "I'm watching my stories! Go away, Frank!"

"Whatever, grandma! I'm going to the arcade." Her grandson grumbled.

The lady scowled. "What a disrespectful youngling! Maybe I should control him next…"

The progress bar pinged as it reached one hundred percent, and the dark screen suddenly flashed with light as the girl lifted her head out of the pillow.

"Excellent… Heheheh."

She seized the controls excitedly, and looked around to see a tom cat looking at the girl confusedly, while little pills in his hand.

"Alex? You okay?" Carter asked her, waving his free hand in front of her face.

"I don't sniff that stuff, okay?" She thwacked the acetaminophen out of his hand, and leapt off the couch, landing on the table.

"What? That wasn't-"

"In fact, all who do must be punished!" For no reason she jumped right at him, her hands curled into fists.

"What's going on?" Margaret pressed her wings to her face in terror.

"Holy stuff!" Carter ducked, and when Alex was right on top of his back, he pushed her off, sending her flying into the wall.

She groaned, but shook her head, and stood up to look back at Carter.

"No one does that to me! I'm Laura Harper!"

Everyone looked at her confusedly. "What?" Mordecai questioned the not-Alex.

"Well, phooey." The not-Alex just shook her head in shame before she leapt back at Carter, the blow landing directly on his cheek, knocking him down.

"Carter! Oh gosh, are you okay?" Margaret screamed as he tried to get up.

Carter wiped his cheek of some blood as the not-Alex picked him up by the collar of his shirt. "Get… back. I've got this…" He kicked not-Alex away, trying to gain the upper hand.

"Don't hurt her! There still might be an Alex under there!" Rigby told him, motioning to the others to run upstairs.

"I'll try not to."

The group ran upstairs, fortunately not incurring the wrath of not-Alex.

"What's WITH her? She obviously didn't think that was a drug, did she?" Rigby threw his hands in the air.

"I don't know. Only some one that was retarded would think that." Mordecai responded, rubbing his wing along his beak.

"Or someone who had never seen it in their life… Wait." Rigby made everyone turn around in shock, as he made a realization. "She said her name was 'Laura Harper', right?"

"Uh, huh." Mordecai responded.

"Isn't that the name of one of her teachers?"

Everyone looked at him in shock.

"He's right." Mordecai nodded. "For once, he's right!"

"Hey! I have my moments!" Rigby crossed his arms in frustration.

"So, how could she possibly be controlling her?" Margaret asked, her eyes shifting from the group to the stairs, watching the fight just in case anything went wrong.

"We could always ask Skips. He says he's seen everything, right?" Mordecai pointed out.

"Yeah, we could." Rigby agreed. Suddenly, he saw everyone staring at him.

"What?"

* * *

><p>"Ouch!" Rigby screamed as he hit the hard ground outside his and Mordecai's bedroom.<p>

"Be quiet, and hurry back! Carter might not last long, the way 'Alex' is beating on him!" Mordecai yelled at his friend. And with that the window shut closed, leaving the poor coon by himself.

"Why am I always the victim…?" He mused to himself.

Rigby set out for Skips' home, the entire outcome of the situation on his shoulders.

* * *

><p>Carter dodged as the teen girl swung at him again, tiredness weighing his movements down significantly.<p>

Before he knew it, a sharp and sudden pain connected with his chest, knocking the wind out of him.

"Hah… hah… that… ought to teach you… a lesson. Now, where are her other pormorhic friends? Those disgusting creatures…"

Carter scowled at the derogatory phrase. Ever since he was little, he had been picked on for being one. But to hear someone call him and his friends that now...

He tripped her and scrambled over to her before she got up and captured her in a quarter-nelson hold.

"You don't dare call us that…"

"I can call you whatever I want!" The not-Alex somehow twisted herself to where she could pummel the tom in the chest, knocking him off.

She ran over to the counter and tried rummaging through the drawers for a knife, but she was greeted with something better.

"Here we go…"

She held the gun expertly, and aimed it straight at Carter.

_Bang._

* * *

><p>Rigby thrust the door to Skips' place open, catching the yeti in mid-meditation.<p>

"Skips! What do you think of mind-control?" He scrambled to the yeti's side, shaking him back and forth.

"Woah, hold on. You said mind control? Who's in trouble now?"

"Alex! She's all crazy and beating up Carter!"

Skips laughed slightly. "Karma's caught up to him I see…"

"Hello? This is serious!" Rigby yelled, his arms flailing in the air.

As if punctuating Rigby's plea, a gunshot was heard in the direction of the house.

"Holy crap." Rigby almost fainted. "Who in the H bought a gun for the house!"

"I don't know, but if it's mind control, I think I know one way how to find out what's going on."

He skipped over to turn a radio on, and almost immediately, and loud screeching noise came through, paralyzing Rigby momentarily in shock. Skips, unfazed, turned the radio off.

"So, it's something electrical." Skips scratched his chin, and skipped over to a closet.

"What are you going to- ?" Rigby asked, another shot interrupting him.

"I'm going to scramble the device or whatever's making her act this way," Skips answered, "With an ionic emitter."

"Isn't that dangerous?" Rigby exclaimed, shocked.

"Contrary to popular belief, ion beams can be used to disable most electrical devices. She'll be fine."

"You really have seen everything, haven't you?" Rigby asked as they headed out the door.

"You have no idea."

* * *

><p>Carter held his shoulder in pain as he hid behind a turned over couch in the living room. Somehow, in a confusing mess, he had managed to hide from not-Alex.<p>

He winced as blood started to gush even more than it had before from his shoulder.

"Come out, come out, where ever you are, you sick freak!" The not-Alex yelled, pointing the gun threateningly in the air.

* * *

><p>The lady tapped furiously on the keyboard.<p>

"Why is this not working?" She yelled, "I purchased this for a reason, not for it to not work on me!"

A message popped up on the screen, and the lady pulled a pair of glasses out of her pocket, and squinted at the large text.

"'She's under my control now. Thanks for your help. U64rSh4wn2342' What does that even mean?"

And with that, the message was gone, and so was the live feed. The screen flashed to black.

"No! Darn it!"

* * *

><p>Carter sat leaned back, blood gathering into a small puddle near him.<p>

"Come on! You couldn't be more stubborn!" not-Alex shouted, her foot slamming down on the ground in frustration, causing the small pool of blood to shift and ripple.

"Do I really need to hunt you down? Because I will," She said in a dark tone of voice.

Suddenly a new voice came out of her throat.

"Carter."

The tom gasped as he realized who it belonged to.

"You are always so resilient. Just like I told you back then, when you were a dumb-A and tried to save _her_. Like a kid trying to save his little toy from a bully."

"You…?"

Suddenly, Carter heard the door burst open and soon saw Skips arrive with a strange looking gun in his hands.

"Hey. Dodge this." Skips fired the ion blast at not-Alex, and she instantly fell to the floor.

"Crazy lady! Are you alright?" Rigby ran over to her.

Carter got to his feet with help from Skips. "How'd you know it was… him?"

"He still uses that same frequency." Skips growled. "I've kept my radio set to it just in case."

Carter winced in pain. "He's still a good shot…"

"Let's get you to a hospital."

* * *

><p>"Shoot!"<p>

A figure silhouetted slightly by a screen leapt out of his seat and threw his hands down upon a table.

"Almost had him… That sick son of a…. grrr!"

He kicked his seat away from him and pounded his fists on the table yet again.

"I will avenge her! My precious Esther…"

He ran a smooth finger over a picture in longing.

"You will die Carter. It's going to be an eye… for an eye."

The picture was laid carefully back down as the figure set back to work.

* * *

><p>AN: OMIGOSH! I just gave away some juicy deets didn't I? I'm so bad. :D

Lawl. Anyways, to the traditional end-of-episode questions!

Who was this man who tried to kill Carter? Who is Esther? How do Skips and Carter know them? What's with the racism between anthros and humans? Will the group ever finish a movie night without something bad happening? Will my readers ever find the obscure Star Wars reference?

…

WHY WAS THIS CHAPTER SO OC CENTRIC AND SO FAST? MY GOSH!

Anyways, you know the drill. Click the review button below, and let me know what you think!

THAT'S ALL FOLKS!

P.s. For those curious, I'm a guy… o.o

Adio…

-WarriorcatZ1324


	6. Episode 6

Regular Show: The New Guy

Episode Six: Couch Potatoes Pt. 1

A/N: Hi again! Sorry about the last chapter… It was kinda rushed… And sorry this one is kinda late… wouldn't let me sign in… :P

Anyways, I'll try and make this one better. Please R&R!

P.S. Do we have anyone here that likes Minecraft? Because I've posted a Let's Play on Youtube for the 'Temporal Adventures of Dr. Tavington' adventure map.

Just search it and my user name is 'Braveheart1324'.

And here's a new section of the A/N's:

Music I listened to while I wrote:

The Lazy Song (Clean) – Bruno Mars

Tonight Tonight – Hot Chelle Rae

ON WITH THE FIC!

Disclaimer: Regular Show, Mordecai, Rigby, Pops, Benson, Muscle Man, High Five Ghost, Skips, Eileen and Margaret are not mine, but are J.G Quintel's.

* * *

><p>It was a cold day in the city, the months of winter swiftly approaching as the inhabitants bundled up quite tightly, small clouds of condensation at their lips as they breathed. A thin layer of icy frost clung to the windows of a quaint house in the city's park, two underdressed anthro workers scraping the frost off the windows.<p>

"Why does Benson have us scraping the windows? This frost will just melt off eventually." Rigby groaned, a scarf wrapped around his neck.

"Something about discoloration… I don't know. Let's just get done." Mordecai shrugged, scraping off a section of thick ice.

Silence filled the gap between the two. And then:

"Hey Mordecai, do me a solid and finish my job?"

More silence, and then…

"Noooo."

The ground started to shake.

"Fine."

* * *

><p>"Gosh darn it. It's frickin cold out there." Rigby shivered, his hands running over his arms, trying to warm himself up.<p>

"Maybe you should wear some actual clothes, man, instead of that wimpy scarf." Carter chuckled as he sat in front of the TV, a warm mug of cocoa in his hands.

"No way," Rigby smirked as he threw the scarf over the end of the couch. "I'm the one who started the clothes less trend. It's not gonna end cause I'm cold!"

Carter chuckled and took a sip as he watched an elf shoot an arrow into a guy's forehead.

"Hey dude, what's this?" Rigby observed the film, grimacing as a muscle-bound knight decapitated an orc.

"It's just my favorite movie series, Legends of Murdoc. It's gristly, has swords, and really cute girls." Carter replied, grinning as the muscle-bound dude cut the ropes tightened around a princess, the fair lady leaping out of the restraining ropes and giving the guy a warm embrace.

"Sounds awesome!" Rigby jumped up and down excitedly, sitting on the couch next to Carter, squeezing a nearby pillow.

The hero-guy, with the princess in his arms, ran out of a fortress and set her on a conveniently-placed horse.

"Wow. She's hot." Rigby smiled, leaning back and placing his arms behind his head.

"I know right?"

An hour later, while the hero and his clan were fighting dark forces in a deep forest, Mordecai trudged in, his wings hanging at his side in pain, and he was shivering slightly.

"I'm done with the windows…" He groaned, walking upstairs. One second later, he was back with the sheet from his bed wrapped around him, and he sat on the couch next to Rigby.

"What you watching?" He asked, his interest piqued the moment he saw the princess pull out a long sword and hack a skeleton to pieces.

"Dude! It's the coolest movie! It's called Legends of Murdoc. And this is only the second one! Carter told me all about it while you were gone!"

Mordecai nodded as he listened to his friend, the movie capturing most of his attention.

Tick. Tick. Tick.

"Dude. The fourth one was awesome! I loved that cliffhanger when the princess was about to be sacrificed for her special powers!"

"No man, the first one we saw was better. Had a better plot."

"Come on! You didn't even see the one hour I saw! It sucked compared to the fourth!"

Carter shook his head. They had been going at it ever since the commercial break before the second half of the fifth movie in the series had started.

"Come on! You guys haven't let the movies sink in yet! Don't make judgments this…"

"Shh! It's starting again! This one has the best production values yet!" Rigby interrupted, slapping his hand over Carter's mouth.

"…My Mom! Hahaha!" A familiar voice came from the direction of the front door, the sound of it slamming soon following.

"Hey losers." Muscle Man chuckled, followed closely by High Five Ghost. "What dork movie you watching now?"

"It's Legends of Murdoc. It's awesome!" Rigby jumped up and down on the couch.

"He saying that it's awesome isn't much." Mordecai laughed.

"STOP TALKING!" Rigby punched Mordecai in the shoulder.

Muscle Man thought for a moment, and then…

"You know who else says that it's awesome? MY MOM!" He gave HFG a high five and the two walked to the kitchen.

"Whatever. It's cool to us." Carter laughed.

"Yeah! He doesn't know what he's missing." Rigby gave Carter a fist bump.

Mordecai nodded and gave his two friends fist bumps as the hero kicked a bad guy into an endless pit.

* * *

><p>"That… was… EPIC!" Rigby pumped his fist into the air as the last movie ended, the orchestrated music playing gaily in the background.<p>

Mordecai had a cup of coffee in his hands, his head nodding off every once in a while. "Yeah." His voice was slurred with tiredness. "It was pretty epic. You were right Carter." He turned to pat the cat on the back, but realized he was gone.

"Don't you remember? He left before the last movie started." Rigby laughed and laid his hand on Mordecai's shoulder.

"Oh yeah. Well, we'd better get to sleep then. We should get up." Mordecai attempted to get off the couch, but he was stuck.

"Not funny dewd." Mordecai groaned. "When did you have time glue me to the couch?"

"I didn't! I swear!" Rigby put his hands up in the air in innocence.

"Huh. Well let me see then…" Mordecai tried to get up, but this time his feet wouldn't work.

"What the crap? I can't feel my legs." He said, starting to freak out.

"Huh?" Rigby tried to get up as well, but he was just as stuck as Mordecai.

"Holy S. I think something's wrong here. I can't move either." Rigby groaned.

"What are we gonna do?" Mordecai panicked.

"I think I know. Let's get this sheet off." Rigby threw it on the floor and to his shock he saw Mordecai's legs fused to the couch itself.

"Holy crap! Dewd, you're legs look like they've grown to the couch!" Mordecai screamed.

"Same with you man! It's like you've fused with the chair!" Rigby pointed to his friend's legs.

"How is that possible?" Mordecai asked, poking at his friend's legs.

Rigby fidgeted uncomfortably as his friend's wing tickled him. "Dude, cut it out, that tickles. How do you like it?" He started poking back.

Mordecai let out an involuntary giggle, and he quickly slapped his wing over his mouth. "Okay, stop. We need to figure out how to fix this." He snapped. "Think. How could we detach ourselves from this thing?"

Rigby snapped his fingers, an idea forming. "I know! Let's think like Skips. He always thinks of a way to fix these kinds of things."

Mordecai nodded his head in agreement. "Hmm hmm. Agreed."

They put their hands on their chins, and thinking insued.

Ten minutes passed, and the pair was comically passed out on the couch, hands still on their chins.

Outside, the moon loomed over the house, the next day rapidly approaching.

Meanwhile, the fusion between the two slackers and the couch grew, the pulsating growth fully encasing their legs.

* * *

><p>AN: Oh noes!This was a tad short too... Oh well. What's going to happen to our bro duo? Will they find a way (in the morning) out of the couch's grip? What is this mysterious force binding them to the couch?

…

I guess those are all the questions I can't answer right now. :D

See you next time!

Adio…

WarriorcatZ1324


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